Someone needs to do a “Shit People in Minneapolis Say.”
“Fuck it, it’s cold.”
“Hey, isn’t that Joe Mauer?”
“Hey, isn’t that Atmosphere?”
“Hey, isn’t that Dessa?”
“You going to board game night tonight?”
“Fuck it, it’s cold.”
“I don’t care if it’s 15 out, I’m biking to work.”
“God, I’m SO over Uptown.”
“God, I’m SO over Northeast.”
“What do you mean you won’t pick me up in North?”
“Fuck it, it’s cold.”
“Doesn’t Parasole own that place?”
“Doesn’t Mark Dayton own that place?”
“Doesn’t Garrison Keillor own that place?”
“Do you like Matt Smith or David Tennant better?”
“You going to the Doomtree show?”
“You going to the Bon Iver show?”
“You going to the Cloud Cult show?”
“Gonna be 40 tomorrow… let’s have a porch party.”
“Fuck it, it’s cold.”
“We’re number 1 for hipsters!”
“We’re number 1 for gays!”
“We’re number 1 for biking!”
“We’re number 1 for hotdish!”
“Why would I ever go to St. Paul?”
“Fucking Delta.”
“Fucking Best Buy.”
“Fucking Vikings.”
“Fucking Twins.”
“Y’know, I just really love having four seasons.”
“I swear to God this is my last winter. Next year I’m moving to Portland.”
“Didn’t I see that guy on OKCupid?”
“Didn’t I see that guy on FetLife?”
“Didn’t I see that guy on Grindr?”
“Can I have a Nordeast?”
“Can I have a Surly Bender?”
“Fuck it, it’s cold.”






