I want you to grow up knowing that it’s okay not to be perfect. It’s okay not to feel like you are good enough, to feel like you’re weak, or you have a long way to go. These things are not bad. They don’t feel good, but as long as you don’t let them run your life, as long as you just regard them as a feeling, a part of you instead of the whole… they can teach you, and help you grow.
Right now, your daddy and I are dealing with some of these things in our own lives. We feel like we’re not enough. We fight. There’s always a sink full of dishes and a basket full of laundry that we ignore for too long. There’s no room to eat at the dining table because there’s so much unread mail to be sorted. We treat each other badly sometimes. We spend more money than we should, we waste food and go out to eat far too often.
But these things don’t define us. We take them as examples of ways we can improve, things we can do to strengthen our relationship and make our lives that much better. They inspire us to strive to be better. To spend our time being productive, instead of watching tv. To make a budget, and change the way we spend our money. To spend more time really being together, and to talk about everything. They make us see what is really important in our lives, and what is simply there.
Sometimes these things are very difficult. Sometimes we disagree. Sometimes they drag us down and make us feel unworthy, or unable to make any changes. Sometimes we fight, we cry, and we give up. There’s times when we feel like things won’t get better. But they always do.
I don’t want you to grow up believing that your daddy and I are perfect, that we aren’t capable of doing wrong. I want you to see the truth, and to learn from it. I want you to know that, even with all our flaws, someone out there still loves us completely - whether that person is your future spouse, us (as your parents), your friends, your pets, or your children… someone will love you regardless of what you do. I want you to know that there are many things we do wrong, and to see us tackle and learn from them. I want you to see us be challenged, frustrated, beaten down, and weary. And then, I want you to see us push back against those things, to accomplish what we need and want, and to pick ourselves back up and do what we need to do.
I want you to learn to believe that, through everything, you are capable and worthy, no matter how many times you believe that you’re not.